


Gifted

by ToMarsAndBeyond3



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 14:20:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16976196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToMarsAndBeyond3/pseuds/ToMarsAndBeyond3
Summary: "But what do you want me to do for them?" Dirk keeps pressing, hovering in the bathroom door. He's curled in on himself, and it's a strange look for the detective to wear."Dirk, I don't want you to do anything. They're a gift, man, I thought you'd like them." Todd looks between Dirk's hunched figure and the books that sit on the other end of the couch. "Like, it's fine?”"No." Dirk's voice is surprisingly sharp. "I mean, no. No, I just. You're giving it to me, no, catch?"In all his life, Todd has never had a pang in his chest as painful as the one that those words gave him.





	Gifted

Todd wasn't always sure if he was fit to be a romantic partner, much less a healthy boyfriend to an amazingly tall detective with a peppy disposition. But despite his misgivings about his own capabilities, Todd found himself constantly facing the fact that yes, he was dating this man. He often indulged himself when he found himself out and about, browsing little gifts to get for Dirk. Toys, movies, tea; Dirk would love it all.

Oddly, he never found himself actually buying these things. What if three months was too early to start bringing home random gifts, _weekly_? Maybe Dirk would be disgusted by it.

And so the pattern kept up every single week, up until one particularly rainy thursday afternoon.

Todd had stopped in at a thrift shop, picking up some new shirts for him and Dirk to wear at work. Their clothes has been destroyed in the last case; Todd still hadn't forgiven that gecko for the havoc he had caused. Dirk was very particular in dress shirts, though, and he couldn't wear one to work unless it was one exact shade of diluted white, and _only_ if it came from this thrift shop. Dirk was particular like that; Todd loved him for all his odd habits.

His fingers swept across the racks of clothes, his eyes searching for the shirt that would be just right. A smell hit his nose, and it almost smelled like burning.

Burning?

Todd felt a spasm of panic run throughout him, his hand jerking to knock over a display of books perched on top of the rack. What was happening, was he having an-

No, Todd wasn't having an attack. From the corner of his eye he spotted a group of kids out on the sidewalk; the smell of their cigarettes was drifting in through the open door.

Cigarettes. Not an attack.

Todd sighed. Gods of the pantheons, he was so stupid. Ignoring the way his face heated in embarrassment he crouched down, taking the books in his hands to put them back where they belonged.

_Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy_ is what the title read. A small smile painted Todd's face, an ache starting in his knees as he knelt there.

Dirk would like this.

Todd put the rest of the books back where they belonged, but he kept just the one. Wrapping it in Dirk's new shirt as he exited the store half an hour later, Todd still hadn't stopped smiling.

Somehow, though all sense said that it was such an inane reason to do so, Todd had been reminded of how much he loved Dirk Gently.

 

Todd pushed into his apartment just as the sun found a home on the horizon, casting a pink shadow across the city of Seattle. He found Dirk sitting cross legged on the counter, a cup of steaming tea in his hands as he watched what sounded like a Disney movie.

The only problem was that the television was all the way _across_ the room.

“Why don't you just watch it from the couch?” Todd set his wallet down on the table that stood next to the door, hanging his keys on the wall. “Like, I have one for a reason.”

“No thank you.” Dirk had that same goofy smile he always wore as he took a sip of his tea. “I'm perfectly comfortable.”

“Mmhm.” Todd rolled his eyes. He took a moment to step over some boxes that had been strewn out, frowning. “Do we live in box land now? I thought you were gonna like, unpack.”

“I will.”

“Tonight?”

“When the universe sees fit.”

“Right.” Todd sighed. He held out the shirt, a soft look in his eyes as he did. “Here.”

“Oh! Clothes! Brilliant, Todd.” Dirk's smile widened, and Todd was sure he would be blinded. As Dirk took the shirt, he felt the hardness of the gift it was wrapped around. “What a, hard, shirt?”

“No, Dirk, it's-” Todd felt a snicker escape him. “Sorry. Just, I got you something. _Not_ a hard shirt. Whatever that is.”

“Oh.”

Dirk was frowning down at the book, the most peculiar of looks on his face. The smile had faded, replaced with something that could be described as close to worry.

“So, what's this, for?” Dirk looked back up at Todd, his eyes carefully guarded.

“Nothing, I thought you'd like it.” Todd shrugged, ducking around the wall to get into the kitchen. “Looked cool? Besides, you seem bored lately. Need something to do.”

Todd never heard Dirk's reply, he just heard the clatter of the book on the counter and the door to their bedroom close. Todd's chest swam with muddled confusion as he turned to look at the abandoned book; what had happened?

“Dirk,” Todd called out. “Dirk?”

No reply.

With a sigh, Todd pulled the leftover pizza out of the fridge. If Dirk was upset with something, surely he would come and ask for help.

___

Todd was greeted the next day by the early morning sun. He blinked at the bright sunlight masking his vision, and turned to bury his face in Dirk's chest. When he did, he found an empty bed and cold sheets.

Todd sat up, his head whipping wildly around the room. Dirk's clothes were gone, and the door was cracked open. With a trepidation unlike no other - what if Dirk had gotten into something stupid during the night - Todd pulled out of bed and creeped towards the door.

“Dir- oh.” Todd came face to face with Dirk himself. The man was fully dressed, his cheeks red and his hair windblown. “Um. Hey.”

“Hello,” Dirk said. His voice was somewhat stiff, awkward. “Um, I've returned the book.”

“What?” Todd reeled back, his face falling. “Dude- why?”

“Because.” Dirk turned heel, heading quickly over to the bathroom. But Todd reached out, grabbing Dirk's wrist and pulling him back.

“Dude! What is your-” Todd paused; why was he being so loud? “Why- you- I mean-”

Dirk.

Dirk had frozen, his muscles tensing as Todd held his wrist. Todd's eyes met Dirk's, and what he saw there made him release Dirk without any complaint.

“I'm sorry,” he said quietly.

“It's, fine.” Dirk cast his gaze downward, like he was trying to will himself to disappear.

“No, it's not.” Todd shook his head. “It's not, dude. That, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.”

“Perhaps.”

Dirk took a step back, wandering over to the bathroom like he had tried to do in the first place. He got there without any complaint from Todd, and as he stood in the doorway he looked back.

“You haven't told me what you wanted me to do for the books,” he said softly.

"What?" Todd frowns, lines etching into his face as he stares at Dirk. "Um, like, don't burn them?"

"But what do you want me to do for them?" Dirk keeps pressing, hovering in the bathroom door. He's curled in on himself, and it's a strange look for the detective to wear. 

"Dirk, I don't want you to do anything. They're a gift, man, I thought you'd like them." Todd looks between Dirk's hunched figure and the books that sit on the other end of the couch. "Like, it's fine?”

"No." Dirk's voice is surprisingly sharp. "I mean, no. No, I just. You're giving it to me, no, catch?"

In all his life, Todd has never had a pang in his chest as painful as the one that those words gave him. Why would there be a catch; they had been a gift.

“Dirk,” Todd said slowly. “They were like, I got them _for_ you. There's no catch.”

“But you said I've been bored lately.” Why was this so upsetting to Dirk? Why did he look so uncomfortable? “And, you gave me the book. Surely you want something in return.”

“Yeah, I want you to be happy. Not bored.” Todd took a step forward, finally stepping out from the bedroom. “Dirk, what's going on?”

“Things,” Dirk said simply. “Just, things.”

“Blackwing things?”

Dirk said nothing, standing for a moment in silence. Todd almost thought that the question wouldn’t be answered, but then he saw the small nod that Dirk gave. Todd sighed; of course this was Blackwing.

“Okay.” Todd nodded back. “Well, how about we eat some breakfast, and we can try to talk through this.”

“Yes.” Finally, a small smile was seen on Dirk's face. “Yes, alright.”

Todd should have known.


End file.
